Sunday, 17 June 2007

Mr. Martin “I don't know but I suspect” Brunt, Sky News Cappuccino's Correspondent

(Click to enlarge)

Mr. Martin Brunt is a superb journalist. He has done a terrific job, while in Praia da Luz. Even if he had to work without two of the most important tools of his job - “cappuccinos” and friendly cops willing to give confidenctial information to journalists. We, in Portugal, prefer what we call “bica”, that strong coffee in a small cup. Mr. Martin “I don't know but I suspect” Brunt complained a lot, in his blog at Sky News site, because of his lack of sources, in Portugal: “"Sky sources' are a bit thin on the ground here in the Algarve. There's no sidling up to a friendly cop for a quick natter away from the cameras. No slipping off for a cappuccino and an off-the-record chat...or 'guidance' as we call it. So I really don't know if the police have any real idea what happened to Madeleine McCann. I suspect they don't."

Yes, “lad”. You see, you were not in your turf. Years ago, in Macao, I met a British pimp and drug trafficker (let's call him “Jo”) a high ranking guy, just by accident. We met several times, later (at night..) and we got what we can call a friendly relationship born from a casual contact. Once, he was at a nightclub with some “clients”, seven young British expatriates living in Hong Kong. Those guys were really drunk and, within five minutes, they started a fight with a Chinese boy. “Jo” tried to calm down the things but he couldn't. So, he just took his glass, left the table and came to the bar, where I was. From there, we saw around 15 Chinese beating those seven British expatriates. And what a beating it was!

I asked “Jo” why he left the table. Never forget his answer: “Man, those are my clients, not my friends. I gave them an advice, and I only do it once.” Then, he told me: “I'll teach you three rulles to survive, anywhere: never get high on your own supply, never gave it before the money is your pocket and never start a fight if you are not in your turf – unless you have to defend yourself."

So, Mr. Martin “I don't know but I suspect” Brunt found himself out of his turf. And he broke all of those wise rulles: he got high on his own supply or arrogance, speculate a little bit, instead of giving news properly checked and started a fight outside his turf - insulting most Portuguese journalists - without being attacked.

Poor Mr. Martin “I don't know but I suspect” Brunt missed his sources in the British Police and the cappuccinos they have, together, exchanging informations about ongoing investigations. Wait! Did I understand well? Mr. Martin “I don't know but I suspect” Brunt get tips and news from off-the-record chats with friendly cops?

God! I thought British Police, unlike Portuguese Police, had the habit of giving daily Press Conferences, where they explained every step of every ongoing crime investigation, including names, addresses, phone numbers of potential suspects, a timetable of house searches and arrests planned for next day, and so on.. Could it be that British Police works in a very similar way to “The Secret Portuguese Police”? I really don't know but I suspect they do…

UPDATE, July 2 (18h51) - Mr. Martin Brunt wrote that "the rest of the stuff (news published by Portuguese Press) is best described as 'colhoes'. In neighbouring Spain that would be 'cojones". This is one the most obscene words in Portuguese language, used to mention "testicles". And no, this word, in Portuguese, doesn't have the same as meaning as "bollocks". The right spelling is "colhões"...


PGTips said...

Are you familiar with Cockney Rhyming Slang? If so, you may be amused to know that in my house "Martin Brunt" is now used as rhyming slang.

Paulo Reis said...

I wasn't!!! But now I have one idea about it, thanks to a quick search in Google!!! NOw, as far as I understand, there will be a meaning for that, right? You use it because it rhymes with something and, instead as using that "something" you use "Martin Brunt"... Like Ace of Spades, for AIDS, right? Please, tell me!!!!

Paulo Reis said...


Somebody can tell me, the distance between LEICESTER CITY and SOME OF THE MAIN CITIES of South Yorkshire area, LIKE SHEFFIELD? Or/and send me a map where I can find the city of Leicester and the biggest cities of South Yorkshire?

Same thing for the geographical position and distance from LEICESTER CITY TO NORTH EAST AREA (MAIN CITIES) and MANCHESTER.

Thank you.

Paulo Reis

PGTips said...

Hi Paulo,
I'd never heard of Ace of Spades for AIDS.
Anyway, I can't say the word, it's too offensive. You know how Martin "I don't know but I suspect" Brunt used that horrible Portuguese word to describe what Portuguese journalists have been writing about the case (as if he is any position to comment, the hypocrite!), well, the rhyming word is similar, but refers to a lady. In fact, if I were to call him a **** da mãe, that would be about the equivalent.
Eu sou a Paula, que fez a queixa á Sky News acerca das reportagens sobre o Rober Murat ser um "scapegoat". Lembra-se?

Paulo Reis said...


O fcourse, I remeber! And I know already what is the word being used to rhyma with Martin Brunt. About Ace of Spades, for Aids, in cockney rhyming slang, take a look at this page:

Vai olhando para as minhas páginas, porque apanhei mais algumas das boas, na Sky News e não só... Também tenho quase pronto um artigo sobre a Imprensa portuguesa, que merece algum pau no lombo, embora por razões diferentes..



Nora said...


I nearly fell off my chair when the same Martin (Br)unt said on Sky News this morning, "We have learned to look at the local papers with more respect ... We realise that the local media have been reflecting accurately the tone and speed and direction of the investigation" ...

I'll see if I can find a link on Sky News to his filmed report.

Here we are:


Did he *apologise* to local Portuguese papers??


Paulo Reis said...

God! I'll give one month of the salary that I don't have (I've been unemployed for the last 3 years...) to hear that... I hope to find a link or I BEG on my knees to any of the readers of Gazeta Digital to get me a video of that!!!

Paulo Reis

Nora said...

I left the link in my comment, Paulo? It's at the blue "here".

Did you see the video?

Nora said...
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Nora said...
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